There is a usual norm to say “Good Boy/Girl” to a kid when he/she does something which he/she is SUPPOSEDLY SUPPOSED to do. For ex.:
- He finishes his meal…. GOOD BOY
- He cleans his room….. GOOD BOY
- He listens to mommy….. GOOD BOY
- He pees in bathroom…. GOOD BOY
So does that mean not eating food makes him a BAD BOY??
Or if he pees in his pants, we will stop loving him??
Obviously not! Then why give him a notion that we will adore him ONLY when he listens to us and does what we expect him to do.
Instead, I prefer to say “Well Done” or “Good Job”; when I want to encourage him and appreciate him.
But definitely not for eating his food. He SHOULD finish his meal because he needs food to survive; fruits and vegetables for nutrients and body strength.
When an adult has food preferences or mood for ice cream or spicy food; why a kid can’t have food as per his mood as per his choice. The main aim is to make the kiddo understand the importance of food and the role they play.
I had started telling him the goodness of each food stuff/drink I would give him; and now he repeats it himself; and in fact tells others as well.. . ‘Almonds make memory good’, ‘Dal makes muscles strong’..
If he hits or screams or throws things, he doesn’t become a bad boy for doing this. He is a baby and that is how babies express their agitation, frustration, disagreement. But having said this, we also have to explain to him that these are not appropriate actions and might cause harm to him or others.
So what do we say??
I prefer saying – BAD MANNERS or BAD HABIT; followed by a brief explanation of the outcome.
We should never underestimate babies. They are very quick in responding and super intellectual than we can even imagine. So thinking they cannot understand the seriousness of the action would be undermining a baby’s reasoning.
What if he comes next day and tells me.. “you don’t listen to me or you are not taking me to park.. YOU are a bad mommy!!”
Now how will I justify to him that doing favorable acts is not always possible and sometimes not even appropriate. So better start from the start, i.e. explaining consequences will save you heavy tantrums and impossible cajoling later on.
My whole point is a baby is always GOOD, it’s only a habit or manner or action that is good or bad. And a baby will always be loved and cared equally by his parents!!
Every individual has a RIGHT TO EXPRESS, even if he is JUST 2 years old..!!