Giving birth is exciting, happiness, elated moment for family members as well as new mom. Everyone is seen dancing with joy, sharing stories of their child-birth, narrating hard-ships and problems they faced during birthing and after that.
When a new mother is trying to make sense of so many things happening at the same time and trying to figure out how to handle this mini human, of all the things, a new mom least wishes to hear is “how difficult it is to raise a child” and that “a mom is the only responsible person who needs to sacrifice herself for child”. Period.
Sometimes overlooking a new mother’s basic needs or undermining her and focusing only on the baby and constantly reminding her that “how she needs to buck up more” or that “she sucks as a mother”; and simply denying her whole existence are some of the common attitudes adopted by family members, knowingly or unknowingly. This is one a major reason that leads to POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION!
Read this mom’s take on Postpartum Depression.
Below are few very common things we hear or face but don’t want to hear/face:
- Baby is NOT THE ONLY Priority. While baby and it’s needs are important, mother’s needs are equally significant. A sleep deprived, hungry, tired person can never be able to take care of a tiny human who can’t even express it’s feelings or cues properly.
- Long visiting hours. While family and friends and even neighbors consider it their duty to pay a visit at such times, it’s also imperative that they cater to the requirements of the mother too, who is striving and struggling to keep her baby alive and herself sane.
A visit will be highly appreciated and you will be thanked whole life if you offer some help in the chores or baby-duty while helping the new mom let take bath or catch some sleep.
3. Type of child-birth is not significant. The moms who undergo c-section get to hear “how difficult vaginal birth is” and vice-versa. Somehow people become so indifferent sometimes that they forget that a new mom is already undergoing a lot and discussing this is absolutely irrelevant, irritating as well as rude.
4. Mom needs to sleep and eat too. Often new mothers are told, forget sleep, forget food, forget yourself (trust me, been there done that), but this is the most heartless thing to say to a person who is trying to learn to stay awake whole night and managing to stuff food before baby wakes up again. Please don’t forget, she is still human.
5. How does she look! Absolutely no one’s business. You look tired, you look fat, you look dull, please people; stop trying to make her more conscious as she is already wondering how to take care of the baby 24*7.
6. If you can’t help, don’t judge! Period. Let the mom raise her baby on her own.
A mother cannot pour from an empty cup!
7. Mom can wish to do more than just taking care of the baby. It’s not a crime to wish for a long bath or peaceful cup of hot tea or have some alone “me time” doing something mom really craves to do and enjoys. Such tiny desires recharges her and rejuvenate her totally. Please don’t deprive her from these, neither anyone has any right to!
Every mother loves her child, but doesn’t need to stop loving herself. Please respect her respect her decisions and sacrifices, that she already is making. And most important – DON’T JUDGE!!
CHEERS TO MOTHERHOOD!!
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